by: Enelya_Sol

Disclaimer: Jaina Solo, Zekk, and any other mentioned Star Wars character or thing not belong to me. I'm just borrowing them to have my own angsty fun.

Summary: Takes place during Rebel Stand, after Jaina mentions to Jag that she wanted to invite Zekk to join the Twin Suns. I was sort of attacked by a plot bunny to deal with the fact that both Jedi are on Borleias together - especially considering their abrupt goodbye in Dark Journey. Short drabble.

Characters: Jaina Solo, Zekk, Lowie, Jag Fel


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Jaina emerged from the conference room moments after Jag. Her hand brushed through her brown hair, trying to straighten its appearance from her previous activities. Goddesses should not be seen dallying with mere mortals, no matter how thorough they kissed, she thought with a sad chuckle. Thank the Force for Jag. He made the isolation, the loss, and the pain more bearable. She needed him in her life right now, as much as she was reluctant to admit it. Needed him to keep her sane.

She walked down the hall, intent on finding the Mon Cal pilot Jag had suggested fill the empty B-wing spot in the Twin Suns. She walked down the hallway, ignoring the stares or whispered comments of passing pilots or personnel. A Goddess wouldn't bother with them, she reminded herself, trying as diligently as she could to ignore the passing people. Some days, the Goddess stint was much easier than others.

Think of other things. Like the sims you need to run later today with the Suns and the briefing with the new pilot. Think of Jag, think of more stolen kisses to come. She tried not to snort over that one. It sounded just so…girlish, she realized with mock dismay. Maybe this war was affecting her more than she thought.

She walked further down the corridor, pausing for a moment when she heard a familiar voice drift out into the hallway from a nearby room, accompanied by a sympathetic Wookiee bellow. She blinked her brandy brown eyes, slightly confused for a moment. Of course Jaina knew they were on Borleias - they had stayed behind with some of the other older Jedi to help fight against the Yuuzhan Vong - but she had remained thoroughly aloof and detached. In other words, completely avoided them.

Especially Zekk, a little voice reprimanded her. Okay, so she hadn't exactly been the nicest to her girlhood best friend within the past few months, maybe as nice as a thermal detonator, she conceded, but that shouldn't have bothered her. Isolation, remember? Still, some part of her that still remembered the girl she once was remained thoroughly disgusted with her behavior. That was the part of her that wanted Zekk to fly the new B-wing General Antilles had allocated to the squadron, the part that wanted to offer it to him as an apology.

She stopped walking completely, pressing her back to the durasteel wall on the same side as the opened door, as if leaning against it would hide her from the rest of the base. Quietly, she stood and listened.

"No, I haven't, Lowie." His voice was low and slightly regretful. It stung at the diffident and remote mask she had created for herself since Jacen's death. "Why would I bother? She was the one who made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with me anymore."

A Wookiee growl in response. Once upon a time, it would have been followed by the prissy voice of his miniature translating droid, Emteedee. Jaina pushed back those memories - knowing that remembering happier times in her life might crack the icy personae she worked at maintaining. She waited impatiently for Zekk's reply, biting unconsciously at her lower lip.

"And in all this time we've been on Borleias, she hasn't bothered with either of us. Or hadn't you noticed? Too busy playing a goddess." He spat the last word out bitterly and Jaina flinched, despite knowing it went against her role. "People like us? We'd just get in the way."

Lowie rumbled a response.

"It doesn't matter. She could have apologized for her behavior on Hapes. Or at least could have come and seen us. As far as I care, the Jaina Solo I love is gone." A pause. "I just need to keep telling myself that."

Jaina blinked. She knew how Zekk felt about her - even tried to manipulate those feelings to aid her in her vengeance quest on Hapes. It hadn't worked though. This was, however, the first time she had heard him say anything remotely like this out loud. And it scared her for some reason she couldn't place.

A noise from inside - the shuffling of a chair - started the young pilot. "Kriff it," she heard him curse angrily. "I need to get out of here."

Without a second thought, Jaina pushed herself away from the wall, rushing back down the way she had came, not wanting to get caught. Eavesdroppers get what they deserve, she thought bitterly as she walked, wishing she could just forget the conversation. And Goddesses too.

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